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Cosmic Load

Guys! I've been so busy that I haven't had a moment to share the most incredible thing that happened last week! Brace yourself... It's long, but hopefully social-media worthy.

It was a day like any other, except that on most days I don't do laundry, and today that was the unavoidable task at hand. I had just finished a load and was balling up my clean socks, and I began to notice that every sock I picked up seemed to have it's perfect match sitting right there. I started wondering (fantasizing, really) if, for the first time in my entire laundering life, I might actually end up with an even number of socks! Dream big!

I should also say that for most of my life I've been wearing a different version of the same low-cut athletic sock-- different brands, different accent colors, varying degrees of elastic wear-and-tear, varying shades of what-was-once-bright-white-- but the general concept of each sock is the same.

And in every load of laundry I've ever done, not only do I always end up with an odd number of socks, but I inevitably end up with a dozen or so originals. I try to match these loners to one another to the best of my ability, but my sock drawer is a general hodgepodge of ankle-sock mismatches.

Which is to say that the size-able portion of my socks in this particular load (as in all of my loads) was an amalgamation of years worth of thoughtful mismatches.

But as I continued balling up socks, finding match after perfect match, I couldn't help myself from getting emotionally invested. I kept folding and kept hoping-- is it possible? Have all my orphaned socks somehow found each other after all these years? What are the odds for this kind of thing? Has this ever happened in the history of mankind?

And it WAS really happening!! All the Hanes, the Adidas, the Asics and Pumas-- the red ones and the blue ones and the grey ones with the annoying pom-pom on the ankle-- they all suddenly now had others! And as I approached that very last pair of matching pink Champions, I legitimately got misty-eyed. It was a transcendent and magical moment-- instantly restoring my faith in the grand order of chaos.

I placed this beautiful collection of perfect matches alongside the remaining mess of mismatches inhabiting my sock drawer.

I'm thinking I should probably stop doing laundry right now because every load from here on out will be a vast disappointment. I'll always be in search of that elusive high-- and who knew there was a high to be had in laundry? But this load. This load was pure magic...

Best thing.

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